


You are so close, but please stop looking

by mirkku



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M, More tags will be added later on, i probably wont, lets pretend hide saved ken in chap136, lots of fluff, maybe some angst too, more characters will appear later, possibly descriptions of gore later on, there is gonna be fluff, unless i change my ming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-25
Updated: 2014-12-02
Packaged: 2018-02-27 00:56:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2672879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirkku/pseuds/mirkku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hide gets Kaneki away from the sewers. Everything should be fine, but Kaneki is afraid of hurting Hide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, so please excuse any mistakes i made.

When Kaneki woke up he was in a warm bed. He could feel someone lying next to him on the bed. When Kaneki opened his eyes the sun burnt his eyes, but after a moment of adjusting to the light he could see Hide lying next to him. 'Oh right, he found me in the sewers yester-'. Kaneki pouted slightly. Seeing as how his wounds seemed to be mostly healed he had most likely been sleeping for a longer time. 'How long have i been asleep?' Kaneki thought to himself. When he spotted Hides phone on the night table he reached out for it to look at the date. When he read the numbers on the screen his yes widened. 'No...this can't be?!' it had only been three days since Hide had somehow found him in the sewers. 'Unless..' at the same second he glanced at Hide, he could faintly taste the blood still in his mouth. 'N-no...i couldn't have...' When he inspected Hide closer, who was still sound asleep next to him, he saw small stains of red showing trough his white t-shirt. Kaneki abruptly sat up. Starting to panic of the thought of him harming Hide, he got up from the bed. Kaneki hissed when he stood up. He felt dizzy and the room felt cold. What he wouldn't give to go back to bed with Hide. But he could't. He cracked his joints as his sore muscles ached and left the room. Muttering a 'sorry' to the other boy, even if he knew Hide couldn't hear him.

.........

After he left Hides apartment, he didn't know what he should do. 'I should probably go back to the 4th ward' He thought, as he looked for the closest bus stop that would take him there. It was only when he already had reached the bus stop that he realized that he had absolutely no money. Or his keys. He hoped that someone else was at their apartment. Preferably not Tsukiyama, he was too tired to deal with him right now. Considering what he had done the last time they saw each other he doubted that he would be see him for a while.

.........

When he knocked on the door he was glad that Hinami was the one to answer. She looked like she had been crying, but her exited squeal of 'big brother' cheered him up. He had only been gone for three days but he had missed the ghouls he had been living with, and especially her. Soon after Hinami had opened the door for him, Banjou and his gang showed up too. They all seemed relieved and hugged him. Kaneki hugged them back, even if the physical contact made him a bit uneasy. After assuring everyone he was alright he told them that he was tired and was going to sleep in his room.   
Kaneki glanced around his room, looking for the book he had been reading before the Anteiku raid. When he found the book he was looking for he laid down on his bed. He didn't have nearly as many books as he used to, and read way less too. But even if he has changed, he still enjoyed reading from time to time. It still had a calming effect on him. He almost didn't notice himself drifting off to sleep later that evening in the same clothes he had been wearing all day.

.........

The next morning Kaneki was woken up by the smell of coffee. He slowly opened his eyes and looked around the room lazily for the source of the aroma. Almost immediately he saw Hinami standing next to his bed, with two cups of coffee. She extended one of her hands with coffee towards him with a smile. Kaneki smiled back at her, ruffling her hair as he accepted the coffee. Hinami sat down next to him as they drank their coffee. After a short while she started sniffing around him. Kaneki raised a brow at her as she looked up to him. "You...you smell different, big brother" she said. Kaneki blushed 'why am i blushing?!' when he noticed that the shirt he had been wearing, and probably the rest of the clothes he was wearing, were Hides. "It's nothing to worry about" Kaneki managed. After a moment Hinami nodded. It was the same smell as in Kanekis old apartment when they had retrived some of his stuff from there. She wondered who it was.

.........

When Hide woke up, Kaneki was gone. He looked around the apartment but couldn't find the other, who he presumed was a half ghoul, anywhere. Hide cursed under his breath, he had let the other get away from him again. "This is no fair, Kaneki." he muttered to no one in particular, as there was no one else there but him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I still have no idea where this story is going, but i hope its gonna turn out okay

The same morning Kaneki had left again, Hide got dressed and left for his work at the CCG. He had originally joined the CCG to find Kaneki, 'But can i find him via CCG again?' he thought as he neared the building. 'I shouldn't resign just yet at least, not before i have any leads'. Hide greeted the receptionist when he entered the lobby. The woman greeted him with a smile.  
When Hide entered the meeting room most of the people were there already. The atmosphere was gloomy as Seidou and Akira were arguing halfheartedly and Amon was just standing there. Suzuya had not showed up that day.

.........

When everyone were leaving the office Amon asked Hide to go out for ramen with him. Even if Hide as tired after taking care of Kaneki during his three days off from work, he accepted.  
"I'm sorry you didn't find your friend" Amon said when they sat down. There was something in his tone though, Hide couldn't place his finger on what it was, but he guessed it was because of what had happened to Shinohara. "Yeah" Hide replied as the looked at the menu. After that they just talked about papers that were due that same week and other work related things. When their orders arrived they fell into silence again, just as on their way there. 

.........

When they had finished eating it was already getting dark and Amon followed Hide halfway to his apartment before going his own way home. Hide had thanked him for the food and went back to his apartment. But when he arrived there, something was wrong. He could see the lights were on. 'I know i turned them off before leaving...?' Hide thought, feeling a bit alarmed at the thought of someone breaking in to his apartment. He didn't have anything valuable there, but the thought of someone looking trough his stuff felt uncomfortable. Hide took his keys out of his pocked and slowly made his way to his door.

.........

Kaneki didn't know why he did it. Why he walked to Hides apartment. Or maybe he knew, but didn't want to admit how hard it was to stay away from the other, especially after their earlier encounter. He had been thinking about Hide all day. About how Hides hair that had grown while he was away from him. About how peaceful he had looked while sleeping. Those were probably the reasons Kaneki had gone to Hides apartment. Kaneki told himself that 'I just need to get my keys from there' or 'I just want my own clothes back', even if he knew he could get new keys and clothes.  
When Kaneki had finally arrived at Hides door he took the key from under the welcome mat (Why Hide kept it in such an obvious place he never understood.), and he opened the door, and almost hoped Hide was home.  
When Kaneki had left it was already starting to get dark outside. He turned the lights on in Hides apartment, Hide wasn't home.  
Kaneki easily found his clothes and key. His clothes were torn and they still smelled like blood. He decided to take them with him and throw them away on his way home. He smiled at the key chain that he had gotten from Hinami, it was still attached to his key. After that he ended up, instead of leaving like he probably should, looking around Hides apartment. Hides apartment hadn't changed much since the last time he was there. It wasn't as messy as it used to be, and he had some new furniture, but not much else had changed.  
Eventually Kaneki had wandered to Hides bedroom. It still looked the same. Kaneki sat down on Hides bed and looked around. He hadn't noticed the framed picture of the two of them, taken a few days after Kaneki had moved away from his aunt and they were starting collage, on Hides nightstand before. He missed the days when Hide kept texting him during class and complaining about how dusty some bookstores they had gone to were. When Kaneki gave the rest of the room a quick look, he spotted something. He got up from Hides bed and walked over to the table in Hides room. On that table, there was missing posters for him. There was a picture of him, when he still had black hair.  
Kanekis heart sank. He had seen these before, and he had figured it was Hide who put them up ('who else?'), but seeing them in Hides room made him sad. After looking at the flier for a few moments, he decided to leave.  
Kaneki went to put his shoes back on when he noticed something in Hides living room. There was several stacks of books. 'Hides newest hobby, maybe?' Kaneki thought as he went to take a closer look at them. Kanekis eyes widened when he saw that they were all about ghouls. 'Why would Hide be reading these? Is he-' Kaneki spotted the documents that were lying on the same table. He opened one of them and flipped trough a few pages. Then he saw it, the name of the organization most ghouls feared, the CCG. On closer inspection it seemed like the report he had picked up was about the Anteiku raid. "But why does Hide have such a file?" Kaneki muttered out loud. 'He can't be working with the CCG, can he? But why does he have-', Kaneki heard the door open. "Kaneki?" the familiar voice of his childhood friend called from the other side of the room soon after. Kaneki tensed. 'There has to be a good reason he has the file, there must' Kaneki thought, even if not daring to turn around and face Hide. Hide was talking to him, but he couldn't understand what he was saying. His head was full of questions, questions that he didn't dare to ask, afraid of the answer. When he heard Hide approaching him he ran. He ran away from Hides apartment and from Hides neighborhood. 

.........

When Hide had opened his door the first thing he noticed was the shoes, left neatly in the hallway. He heard something from his living room and went there. He was surprised to see Kaneki there. "Kaneki" he asked. Hide could see the other visibly tensing when he heard his voice. Hide could, however, not contain his questions. "Kaneki, where did you go? I was worried about-" he was interrupted by Kaneki running away from the room. "Kaneki!" he tried to follow him but Kaneki was too fast and Hide lost track of him quickly after he had left the apartment. When Hide closed the door after him he looked at the shoes that were left behind. Hide let out a sigh as he placed his own shoes next to Kanekis. Hide went back to his living room. He looked at the books on ghouls that he had left there and the files he got at work. He was regretting leaving them there now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wonder how many chapters this is gonna have tbh
> 
> ja mä wn nytten saanut shuuneki fanservisiä tungettua tänne kun kaikki käiriti mua ja sit mua rupes nolottaa ja mä jätin ton kohtauksen kesken--

Afer Kaneki ran away from hide he walked around trying to clear his head. When he finally did go back to his shared apartment it was already pretty late. Banjou and his crew were in the kitchen while Hinami seemed to be asleep on the cough. Kaneki knelt next to the couch and brushed the hair away from her eyes. "She was worried about you. She wanted to wait for you to come back, but it seems she already fell asleep" Jiro commented from across the room. "I'll take her to her room" Kaneki said and lifted the girl up from the couch. After a little trouble of opening the door to Hinamis room, with both of his occupied, he laid the girl on her bed. Kaneki moved her sketchbook that had been lying on her bed to her nightstand. When he was placing it on the nightstand a paper slipped trough the pages. When Kaneki picked it up he saw it was a drawing of him and somebody else who were still just a sketch. He wondered who Hinami was drawing him with.

.........

The next morning, Kaneki was woken up by a loud noise downstairs. When he went there he saw a certain purple haired man and a stain on his carpet. "Tsukiyama" Kaneki growled under his breath. Tsukiyama had soiled coffe on his carpet. Tsukiyama noticed this and turned to face Kaneki. "Ah, Kaneki, you're awake!" Tsukiyama exclaimed excitedly., not commenting on the spilled coffee."Yeah" sighed Kaneki, "How long have you been here, Tsukiyama?". Tsukiyama walked over to Kaneki with a smile, "How long do you think I've been here, Kaneki" Tsukiyama purred and placed his hand on Kanekis hip. Kaneki rolled his eyes and slapped the other males hand away. Kaneki, despite his cold attitude towards the other, was relived that the other was okay.

.........

Hide was putting away his numerous books about ghouls, so that if Kaneki came back, they wouldn't scare him away again. The missing posters too, since he figured they wouldn't help him anymore. After all, Kaneki looked a whole lot different now. After Hide put away the last one of his books he sat down on the couch with a sigh. 'Should I just walk around until I find him?' Hide thought, but quickly shook his head, 'No, Tokyo is too big for that'. Going outside sounded inviting though. 

.........

Banjou and Tsukiyama had started arguing. It was over something stupid, but Kaneki had decided to leave the apartment for now. They seemed to always be short on coffee, so Kaneki decided that it would be a good time to go and buy that now. Most people were working this time of the day so the streets were fairly empty where he was walking to their closest convenience store. He hoped Banjou and Tsukiyama would have stopped arguing by the time he came back. When Kaneki exited the store he trew away the now crumbled receipt he got moments earlier. Kaneki looked up at the sky. The sun was shining but it wasn't all too warm so he decided to give Banjou and Tsukiyama some more time and sit in the park.  
After getting comfortable on the bench Kaneki thought back to last night. He had been thinking about Hide again and didn't get any sleep. The bench was under a tree and it was keeping the sunlight away from his eyes nicely, and before he knew it, he was dozing off.

.........

Hide stared at the sleeping Kaneki on the bench. Hide frowned, why had Kaneki left himself so defenseless? Then again, Kaneki wasn't nearly as defenseless as he had been a year ago. 'Will he wake up if I sit next to him?' Hide wondered. After a few short moments of wondering, Hide sat next to Kaneki. Kaneki was still fast asleep. Hide decided to try and lean against Kanekis shoulder. The white haired man still didn't wake up. Hide smiled and relaxed against the other, and soon he was dozing off too.

.........

Kaneki woke up to someone snoring, rather loudly, next to his ear. As consciousness washed over him he looked the way the sound was coming from. His eyes widened when he saw Hide next to him. 'When did he get here?’ Kaneki screamed in his head. Kaneki blushed when he noticed that one of his arms were around Hides shoulders. He had to do something about it, but he didn’t know what. After thinking about what would be the smartest thing to do, Kaneki decided to wait and see if the other would wake up soon.  
He didn’t.   
Kaneki would never leave Hide on a bench in the park, so he decided to carry Hide to his apartment and hope he still kept his keys under his welcome mat.  
Kaneki decided to piggyback Hide to his apartment while carrying both of their stuff in his hands. When he was in front of Hides door he easily found the key under the welcome mat again.   
Kaneki closed the door behind him and managed to take off his shoes before going to Hides room and laying Hide on his bed. He took off Hides shoes and put them next to his own in the hallway. Once again he knew that he should leave, but was unable to do so. He decided that he would stay and wait for Hide to wake up. He wanted to ask Hide how he was involved with the CCG. Kaneki took the instant coffee he bought with him to the kitchen and make coffee and prepare the word he was going to say to Hide when he woke up.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is rly short but i wanted to update-  
> also, i rly love the way hide talks but i cant write it-
> 
> and i kinda wanna write a fic with parents!hidekane and daughter hinami because yee

When Hide woke up he was in his own bed. He suspected it was Kanekis doings, but he was nowhere to be seen. After a few moments of lazing in the bed though, Hide could smell coffee. He got up and walked to the kitchen where he found Kaneki drinking coffee. Kaneki had been looking in the direction he came from even before he entered the kitchen so he didn't know what else to do than to sit across from him. Hide wasn't usually shy, but Kanekis stern gaze made it hard for him to look in the others direction. Hide looked at the clock, he had already missed his first few classes. "Sorry that you missed class, but i wanted to talk to you" Kaneki said. Hide could hear the clock ticking on the wall. After a few moments of staring at the table Hide finally spoke up too, "What did you want to ask me?". "Why did you join the CCG, Hide?" Kaneki said, a hint of what could be sadness in his voice. Hide finally looked at Kaneki, "I wanted to find you, Kaneki". "But why would you want to find me" Kaneki frowned. Kaneki knew why Hide would want to find him. "I wanted to make sure you were okay, i wanted you to rely on me too!" Hides voice cracked at the end. 'And i wanted you back' Hide thought, but didn't voice his selfish wish. "Hide, its dangerous, it's dangerous to be around me. Touka said that- and Nishiki-" Kaneki was interrupted by Hide getting up and walking next to him. Hide placed a hand on Kanekis shoulder, smiling. "It doesn't matter. You should know that i'll stay by your side no matter what". Kanekis eyes seemed to glisten with tears before he hugged Hides waist. "Thank you".  
Hide chuckled and somehow dragged the half ghoul to the couch for him to cuddle and cheer up.

........

Hide had wanted Kaneki to stay longer but after a few hours of cuddling on the couch, Kaneki told that he had to leave. He had stayed away the whole night without telling anybody again. After Hide had reluctantly let him go, but not without making Kaneki promise to keep contact. Kaneki left towards his apartment again. Kaneki thought that Hinami would be worried when he had again forgot to tell anybody that he wouldn't be back for the night, but she seemed mostly curious and amused. Before Kaneki had time to ask her what it was about though, they got interrupted by Ichimi, Jiro and Sante who were talking about some game they wanted everyone to try and play. The next couple of hours were spent trying to figure out how to play said game, as the rules seemed to change every five minutes. 

.........

That evening when Kaneki was helping Hinami with her kanji, he wanted to ask about the look she had given him earlier, but she beat him to it. "You've being hanging around someone lately, big brother. I'm happy" Hinami said with a smile. Kaneki was a bit shocked that she'd noticed so he only nodded.

.........

Kaneki woke up to several new texts from Hide. He had promised to answer them so he did that before getting out of bed. He felt more at ease after he had talked with Hide, and it seemed to show on him because the other ghouls were teasingly asking him if Takatsuki Sen had released a new book. Hinami had smiled knowingly while sipping her coffee.


End file.
